I originally intended for my first post to be a “Goals for 2016” post. However, I’ve already been procrastinating in 2016. Instead, I hope you enjoy the following personal essay instead.
Gabriel held his green Thomas the Train pajama pants up in the air, one pant leg clearly inside out. I’d been watching to see if he’d figure it out on his own. “Uuuuuh! I need HELP! Help! Unnnnhh!” He fruitlessly tried to pull the pants up his legs, his tiny three year old foot hammering into the underside of the fabric. “Maaaaama!”
I crouched down beside him. “Bubbe, I can see and hear that you are frustrated. Take a deep breath. I’m here to help.” I flipped the pant leg back the correct way, but before I could assist him any further, he interjected-
“Mama. I DO IT.” He grabbed the pants from me and slid them up his legs. He unsteadily attempted to stand, wobbling with the pants around his ankles. I took a deep breath and swallowed the aggravation. I was there to support him; I wasn’t there to do it all. I held out my hand and he grasped on. My hand gave his a gentle squeeze.
“Look at you, Gabe. You’re getting so big. Look at everything you can do.” My voice was proud – and calm, despite the sometimes-trying outbursts.
He beamed up at me. “I grow so big. I be a DOCTOR!”
Maybe. Maybe he will grow up to be a doctor. Maybe not. I think he probably got the idea from the doctor costume he got for Christmas. He has been playing with it a lot lately. So has his big sister. It doesn’t really matter, though I file the information away because he might be more interested in medical-related play and learning. He is just three. His interests will change. He’ll learn that there is a big, wide-open world out there with so many choices.
Right now, though, he still needs my help. He needs me to flip open his pant legs and reassure him with my language and tone. He needs my hugs and my kisses and my love. He’s not ready for that world of choices, and that’s just fine with me.